if the season changes..

if i say it once i probably only mean it in the moment. my mind may change just as yours, just as everyone's. i thought about you/us and i came to a definitive answer as to why things are. it's because of those moments that we seem so sure of what we want.. thoughtless..impulsive. this life is a capricious one at best

the days pass and seasons change. which in turn make me think of change and how life is constant but never the same. our faces in this perpetual act of defiance against time. i was once as young as you are now and my life was so much different. i didn't even know your face, your smell, your laugh, your smile..you. i knew i wanted you though. i knew i needed you..

i wrote a song once and the theme was longing . 29 years old and i never knew happiness? in that moment..that's exactly how it felt. the heart can be a lonely place when you're the only one that visits. i had to learn to invite someone in..i still need to learn that. i am not here to apologize for being a closed door, i am only trying to say that i get how hard it can be. i understand fear and i understand heartache. my heart is aching as i write and my heart will be aching when i awake to a new day..everyday.

if i had one wish it would be this

that someday we find..
that someday we have..
that someday we love..
that someday we are..

traeh esrever...