because when in doubt..

there are times i wish i had a crawl space that i could hide in until these feelings that overwhelm me fade away. i would emerge rejuvenated and with a new sense of purpose.
but that isn't reality.
the reality truly is that the crawl space i wish i had already exist. it's in my head and i lay there often...too often. it's hard not to really. i'm not the only one that does this. people that i love and people that i don't even know enjoy burst of time inside their heads. it's a strange place to reside when there is a world of happenings all around you but you can't see them. your eyes are blocked by the analogies and perplexing soliloquies that you have created out of situations that no longer exist..the past. things that are unchangeable.

light
light that breaks through cracks

i think about what you're feeling at the moment. about the things that are dominating the thoughts that are normally reserved for moments less daunting. i have to wonder about my influence and if my own journeys into the headscapes have prompted you and maybe others to follow suit... then i slap myself for thinking that i could ever have such impact on another...

cracks
cracks that turn into holes

when i finally do emerge this "new" man. i hope that everyone i love is there to greet me. i hope that i feel the warm embrace and closeness of their hearts. i hope that they realize the influence that each of them has had on me and that i wouldn't be who i am today without that. it's these thoughts that allow me to wake up and crawl out of that space and see things that my mind wouldn't previously let me see.

holes
holes filled with light
and it is that light
that leads me to the ones i love