out of focus

there seems to be a focus on time lately from myself. as if I need to accomplish something big and something soon. I can't quite explain it but I'll do my best to articulate my feelings through these words that will reach, few.

I am, by many standards, an older man. I have talents that I have allowed fear to dictate for the majority of my adult life. under the umbrella of fear I have wielded a very nasty thread of philosophy. why do we do this? why do we get so trapped inside our minds that we lose focus on our true passions, families, careers? it blows my mind, truly. 

it's as if we see the wall, we make the assessment, and we decide to sit instead of climb. 

I'm tired...

I'm tired of being a slave to what I fear. a slave to failure. a slave to confidence...

starting now. starting right now, at this very moment that the words are leaving my mind and flowing through my fingers and onto this page, I am making the change. I'm shifting the way I move. what I want has always been 3 feet ahead of me and it's time I've caught up. it's time to take bigger strides and get to where I truly want to be. where I'm meant to be..